Pray For a Man Who Not Only Understands Emotions, but Experiences Them Righteously 

Ladies, do you want to share in a lesson I’ve learned?

Men are meant to experience their own emotions in a righteous way, they are not here to only understand our emotions and support us through them.

 

Something I’ve thought that I wanted ever since I was a preteen was a man who understood my emotions. In highschool, I thought I found that. Long story short for a year and a half I was a total drama queen about everything; got super angry about everything, complained about life to this fellow I was with, and we both got emotional about all my frustrations. So yes, he listened and understood my emotions but sadly all we did was fuel each other’s drama and encourage bad attitudes, as well as accept quick tempers.  Each of these scriptures would have been valuable for me to live out, I pray you learn from my mistakes instead of being consumed by negativity yourself.

📖 James 1:19-20 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 

📖 Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” 

📖 Philippians 2:14-16  Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

After that relationship ended I was still sure that I just had to have a man who understood my emotions, but I took it one further. I started to desire, and pray for a man, who understands emotions from a perspective of wisdom and truth. Watching my parents and many other admirable married couples as I grew up gave me a decent idea that a godly man really needs to be sensitive, but strong and full of God’s wisdom. I could rattle off on real life examples where this concept was inspiring and firmly planted in my heart, perhaps that will be a theme for later posts. For now, here are some of my favorite verses on why this ought to be a desired trait in a righteous teammate:

📖‭  Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

📖 Proberbs 15:13 A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

‭‭📖‭ ‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1, 4, 6-7‬ ‬‬ To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; (this is a great chapter to read in its entirety.)


And finally…


During my last couple of years in highschool as my perspective shifted because of my former relationship, so did my opportunities. Let’s be honest gals… we’re super proned to being emotional without much of a trigger. This being the case when circumstances in life give us a reason to cry we just sob buckets of tears! 😢😫😭😪

Unfortunately there was plenty of sad or unexpected reality in life at this time (heavy trials that I may write about some other time) that I fairly often was sobbing and turning to my Lord, my Daddio, brothers, or mature guy friends as a comfort. My hope was always that I would be understood, comforted, and strengthened.

One such a time when a guy friend comforted me had me a bit confused. Something tragic happened and I dealt with it very closely. One day I was sharing this huge burden in my life, and I was crying out my heartbreak over such a life changing situation…he let me cry it all out but then sorta shrugged it off. He admitted that he doesn’t really understand emotional things and had a hard time relating to the situation. I was, and still am, grateful for him being there for me; I simply wasn’t expecting a lesson out of the please just let me cry experience. Looking back I recall wondering if his lack of empathy was just a result of him choosing not to experience his own more challenging emotions.

That moment opened my eyes… From then on I began praying that the man I’d be attracted to would actually feel emotions in a healthy way and be honest about it. I prayed for the man I was looking for to be unashamed of having a soft and caring heart.

  • Emotions are meant to be felt, however they are not meant to rule us. *I owe my Daddio credit for this life lesson 🙂
  • Scripture tells us to keep our heart safe, while the world tells us to follow it.  

Which do you choose? Alright, now look for a man who fits that desire you have. You can’t have both, choose God’s way or the world’s way.

Here’s the lesson that is fresh on my heart tonight: young men need a woman who is sensitive to their emotions just as much as we need a man understanding of ours. Life is full of causes to feel various emotions and no one will fully understand emotions whether they’re observing, empathizing, or experiencing. That being said, no person is exempt from emotions, what matters is how we feel and use them.

In honor of @christownley “This one is free” *Only God fully understands us and we should never pressure a fellow human being to perfectly understand us; especially when it comes to our emotions.*  

I believe it is important for young men (and grown men alike!) to be comfortable with the emotions they feel, and have the skills to handle them properly. Look at Jesus for example: in John 11 Jesus has a very dear friend of his die, so He wept. http://bible.com/114/jhn.11.1-44.nkjv

Just looking at this one example from Jesus’ life on earth I know that it is a righteous and manly quality for a son of God to cry about important things. Ladies, seek first the kingdom of God before looking for a man, and be a 📖 Proverbs 31 woman. As you look, and very purely pray, for the right kind of man in your life, please know that it is good for him to experience emotions of his own. Men don’t have to be unbreakable to be worth our affection (and honestly if a man seems unbreakable he is living against the Holy Word of God, test his character against Scripture.) They do however need to have their house built on the Rock to be worth your affection (📖Matthew chapter seven.)

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I have grown in my own life and continue to learn the impact of emotions as well as the importance of having a handle on them. After several negative, confusing, or simply discouraging experiences with how guys process their emotions, I have personally experienced how sweet it is when a godly young man allows his emotions to be felt and expressed within the guidelines that God lays out in Scripture. It’s worth the standard, patience, prayers, and dedication to righteousness girls 🙂 Believe me on that one.

Let the journey continue,

Kasey S  

Will You Safely Journey Down, or Close Your Eyes and Trip?

Imagine that you’re standing on a cliff, far from the boundary with water far below the edge. Now go to the very edge at whatever pace you’d like to. Are you there? Look down, what is the water like? Is it gentle and calm, like a lake at dusk on a clear day… Or is it choppy, rough, and strong like a lake on a windy night? Be super creative as you picture your cliff, how you approach the edge to gain a view of what’s beneath you, and how you see the water… use YOUR imagination. Okay, now please keep that picture in your mind’s eye as I attempt to accurately convey what I’ve been thinking on this evening. 

We all know about falling ♥ in love ♥ right? Well I did that once, or so I thought… but really I fell in lust. While I was with this guy, we “knew that we had fallen in love! And it was the most exciting and beautiful thing ever.” Well there are a lot of layers as to why I knew this to be true, but I’ll just share what the actual truth was: though we called it love, really this guy and I were making very inappropriate choices for our hearts, souls, minds and bodies. Mmmk, so the gist is that the way we “fell in love” was pretty standard, flirty eye contact, inside jokes, compliments, liking similar foods… all the stuff that happens when two people are mutually attracted. It was cute, at first. Then we stopped tiptoeing (flirting) on the top of this cliff safely from the edge and we ran full force to embrace the beautiful water of love beneath our cliff of identity and adventure, hand in hand we went! He jumped off before I was ready… feet planted hard in the ground I wouldn’t let go of him, but I would not allow myself to go off the cliff. 

You see, long before this boy and I ever began entertaining the idea of us I personally had placed a lovely safety fence at the edge of my cliff, with the guidance of my parents and many others of course… Anyways, I had established my own boundaries to keep me safe from tripping and falling off of the cliff before it was safe and pure for me to hit the water (water is sex by the way, just to keep that clear.) But, this boy hadn’t put up a fence… he was okay with having the boundaries in place on my cliff but never cared to establish a safety zone on his own cliff. So by the time our cliffs budged each other (because yes, these cliffs serving as a visual for our identities/bodies can shift around) mine was in a frenzy. 

His lack of boundaries contradicted my lovely fence with beauty on the other side and he gently tugged, then yanked, pulled, called out to me, he did everything he possibly could to trip me into thinking I chose to jump onto his cliff and stumble into the risky waters below with him. However that was far from the truth, he was only one good tug away from forcing me to go down with him. Finally as I looked at my tattered up fence, color faded, blossoms dying beneath it I embraced the strength I once knew! Bravely I decided to let go of his hand so I would regain my footing. Ever so quickly as I made the long needed decision to care for my cliff, and mend my fence the guy I once called “mine” didn’t stumble back in surprise atop his own rock. No… he knew the dangerous game he had been playing with not only my body, but my mind, heart, and soul. He knew that if he would have taken a dive off the cliff head first that I would rip down my fence to either try to catch him, or give up on even trying to hold him above reproach… and just go after him. Praise God that I rediscovered my identity in Christ! All the blossoms vibrantly sprang back to life! Yes, I found the spring to my step that I had buried in the rocks

That was my journey from tiptoeing in flirtatious comings and goings, to running to the edge lustfully but knowing that I wanted to keep my fence up and stay away from sex with this guy. You see, before this guy caught my attention, I was more than content sitting in the sun soaked grass, sniffing wildflowers… enjoying innocence while fully loving the Lord and waiting patiently on the man He chose for me, one who had constructed a fence of his own. It is a scary thing when the person we choose to be with pulls away from the Father who has loved us the most for the longest of days. 

Now that I have experienced two years of freedom, growth, healing, redefined purity, and so much more bliss as a single young lady after God’s heart I am again content enjoying the view from atop my rock. Can I let you in on a secret? About three months ago, after I had begun writing openly and honestly about my experiences I started discussing the idea of falling in love vs. falling in lust, which is true in an uncontaminated way?

Well I had one dear friend of mine suggest that perhaps one could jump ♥ in love ♥ after intelligently choosing a spouse based on righteous character demonstrated. Upon sharing his viewpoint with another beloved friend of mine, she suggested that perhaps falling ♥ in love ♥ isn’t as bad as I had experienced, because it could be more like a trust fall than being manipulatively tripped into lust. Stand firm on your cliff, still have your safety zone, and when the time is pure (ahem 😉 marriage) you can intentionally fall down to the waters below with your spouse completely trusting one another. 

Discussing this topic with both friends of mine (who each have wisdom only from the Lord) made me drop my stubbornness and realize that there’s no one verb (jump, fall, fly, roll, flutter, twirl, on and on I could go) that is the “right way to _______ ♥ in love ♥” with someone. What is important is that whatever verb you choose, whatever pace you set, let it be what you are comfortable with based off of your relationship with God and your identity as a child of the Light. Whatever the waters of intimacy look like, let it be beautiful, crisp, pure, clean, refreshing and right as God intended sex to be.

Please, don’t run full force with your eyes closed on a dark, stormy night to discover shocking, cold, vicious waters below that will push you up against the sharp rocks over and over. If you are in a storm right now, turn to Jesus… the true Rock. Let Him be your protector, your strength, your place of healing. Storms don’t last forever, with His guidance you can climb back and start anew, learning from your growth moments. 

Here are my final words for this post: being ♥ in love ♥ is in fact a delightful thing! God blessed love, so the best way for us to determine whether we are ♥ in love ♥ or in lust is by looking to see if their are signs of life and light around our relationship with “that person” or! if there are signs of death and darkness around our relationship with “that person.” The choice is FULLY yours on whether you want dark, scary waters… or if you would rather enjoy blissful, peace filled waters that light shines upon.

🙂 I pray that we all choose wisely! 

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Anything uploaded and/or shared here is either written/presented by Kasey Shultz http://www.kaseysjourney.wordpress.com OR the data is properly atributed to the author of the work. Plagerism is more than saying something without telling us who said it 🙂 Please feel free to share these links as many times as you’d like, however do not change/edit/tamper with the data in any way shape or form. Thank you 🙂 Let’s work on the honor system now.” -Kasey J. Shultz 5:11 a.m. Friday, May 12th 2017.

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Pray For a Man Who Not Only Understands Emotions, but Experiences Them Righteously 

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~*~ KASEY'S JOURNEY ~*~

Ladies, do you want to share in a lesson I’ve learned?

Men are meant to experience their own emotions in a righteous way, they are not here to only understand our emotions and support us through them.

Something I’ve thought that I wanted ever since I was a preteen was a man who understood my emotions. In highschool, I thought I found that. Long story short for a year and a half I was a total drama queen about everything; got super angry about everything, complained about life to this fellow I was with, and we both got emotional about all my frustrations. So yes, he listened and understood my emotions but sadly all we did was fuel each other’s drama and encourage bad attitudes, as well as accept quick tempers.  Each of these scriptures would have been valuable for me to live out, I pray you learn from my…

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Quit Worrying, Seek God Instead

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“Kasey, you’re a worrier,” gosh those were tough words for me to hear this week. Instantly I wanted to deny it, but I took a deep breath and admitted that I have been a worrier lately. Life is challenging, with all the stresses around us it’s hard not to slip into the world’s ways of worrying.

 

Taking a good, honest look at myself and wanting to stop being a worrier has encouraged a sweet experience of trusting Jesus more. Worrying over things, big or small, doesn’t benefit you in the least bit. Jesus knew what He was talking about when He told His followers that worrying doesn’t add to your height… I pray that you all join me in working to seek His kingdom instead of worrying 🙂 We aren’t perfect, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

 

Let the journey continue,

Kasey